Why is life so hard?😤

So it’s been three months since my last post🙈🙈

And just when you think life is going fine, it hits you with a curveball…

How can you save money, still pay your bills and survive when your basically on your own?

And when I say on my own, I mean I’m restricted in what I can do because of childcare and the governments lack of knowledge, understanding and empathy towards working class people or single parent families.

I mean come on how is it realistic to force a parent back into work, then because of how much hours they work, they decide that you get little – no help at all.

Then you have to factor in childcare. Now, if you decide to go private like I have (so I can work) then your spending nearly £600-£800 a month to have your child in nursery full time. If you decide that is too much and you place them in a school nursery, then depending on how old your child is you can get 15 hours free or 30 hours free spread across the week. 15 hours spread across a week is 3 hours a day, so you know 30 hours is 6 hours a day.

Now whilst your contemplating which childcare route to take you have to take into consideration the hours you work, and will you be able to work around your childcare or can your childcare work around you…

If you work full time that’s 30+ hours a week you get little- no help towards childcare cost unless your place of work helps towards it. Meaning for the remaining 25 hours or less you now have to find childcare. Which works out to be just has expensive as private nursery, if you have no one to look after your child/ren.

Now factor in the rest of your bills!!!

How on earth are you expected to save money?

Single Parent Statistics

My life as a single parent

Keep trying.. Never give up

So since my last post I managed to get one of the jobs I wanted and that was through this website http://www.indeed.co.uk. I also applied for a role at Asda https://www.asda.jobs…

I was praying that I would get one of them and I did, only to have the other job wanting me as well.

I believe things come to you when you are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually ready..

My motto for the past few years has been:

ASK🗣… BELIEVE🙏… RECEIVE🙌

It does work!!

Stay positive and stay focused… Never give up 😁

Not a good start to the year😔

So.. the first two weeks of the year have actually been so shit💩! You would think turning 30 would have been a good start but NO!!

Didn’t do much on my birthday, but had a party on the weekend which a lot of people flopped which doesn’t surprise me because they always do (reason why I don’t do anything for it).. I spent a lot of money for it as well. Then driving back home and I spin out on ice and crashed my car into a fence. Needed a new bumper, licence plate and my passenger side is scratched. Get the bumper fixed at a cheap price but to respray it, it’s gonna cost £150-£200. 

Then last night find a leak coming from my bathroom light switch because the man upstairs had a leak..

The only good thing is I have two interviews this week so fingers crossed I get one of them.

2018

1st day of the year!

Single Parent

Being a single parent isn’t easy… I watched a video the other day and it was like this woman had hit the nail on the head.. 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=156719131629674&id=100018747632869
It was like she was psychic, she knew the thoughts and feelings that I had been having and was preaching them🙌🙏

She does make some very good points in the video and for those who know would definitely agree..

We as women have to deal with a lot and it can be hard.. but when you add a child/ren to the mix it gets a lot harder… 

Like she says when she gets sick she has to take Night Nurse and keep it moving.. we don’t get days off!!

There are some single dads out there that are playing the role of both parent’s and I applaud you for that.. I’m sure it can’t be easy for you either..

But…

Women still have it harder then men when it comes to single parenting…

Please just watch the video and you’ll understand what I mean…

On a budget

Flipping hell.. planning parties when ur income is a bag of shit is so flipping stressful… 

Spent soooo much on my daughter’s 3rd birthday and still had to make sure I had money for my bills… 

Now it’s nearly time for my birthday, it’s the same shit over again… had to celebrate this one with a party cos it’s my bloody 30th… My outfits I ordered are being held hostage by customs because I brought them from China.. so now that’s more money being spent for a new damn outfit. I haven’t even sorted out shoes, hair, makeup, nails and accessories.. 

My mom has helped a bit she paid for the venue..  

I am not planning another party again! 
EVER!!

Fake it til you make it…

There’s a lot of people out there that are;

“Faking it til they make it”

I see people on benefits buying brand name clothes and footwear, girls who make it look like they have their own makeup/stylist team with them 24/7.. men flaunting to friends instead of spending on the children.. girls flaunting to get men’s attention..

I feel as if I’ve become old before my time… or that society has changed and left me back 10 years prior…

Like each to his own but when did we get so desperate for acceptance that we have to fake it to make it..

I blame the Kardashian/Jenner’s of the world..

I used to be the girl that was the life of the party.. always up to try new things (within reasons), but because I became more reserved I became the outcast.

It’s a case of if your not doing some type of drugs, drink & partying every weekend, wear loads of makeup and flash loads of skin.. your not normal… it’s all become part of the norm…

The things society is accepting off people class as normal..

I feel like I’m on the outside with the minority looking in.

Do you have to FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT, to survive in the world?

If so, count me out!!

Rather be different in a sea of clones..

Moving on

Ok… here’s a question that I know a lot of people ask… 

How long after a relationship ends before you start dating again? (Do people still say dating ??🤔🤔…( FFS I feel old🙈🙈))

• Like is there a time scale?
•  What’s the minimum?
•  Does it depend on the individual? 

Shit!! 

I’m not really good with the whole dating phase? (Wow…. I really feel old)

Dunno if I wanna start all this again… we’ll I do and I don’t…

Crap!!

This is not gonna go well… I’m a mess lol..

Do people still use dating apps/sites?

Has anyone ever found love off a dating app/site?

Can you trust people on a dating app/site?

Oh F*** it!

Here’s to dating in 2018!😱🙈😂

Closure..

Me and my daughter’s father split up at the beginning of the year.. and it’s not until I plucked up the courage to finally end it, that I was able to really look into the relationship🤔🤔

I won’t disclose any details because he’s still my child’s dad🙄😂 but this last year has shown me a lot and taught me a lot.. 

I did put up with quite a lot.. the lies, no effort, being too comfortable,the texts, the friends, the money and the spending on unnecessarily.. why? God only knows… I wasn’t staying for the sake of our child before you think that!

Anyway since the split a lot has happened in his life that he’s either told me about or I’ve heard about from different people. At first I was angry, but the more things I heard the more it turned to pity because it shows me he’s a weak person mentally and emotionally and relief because I don’t have to deal with it anymore…

I finally realized I have total closure when the earrings he brought for our 1 year anniversary broke today and I went to just throw them in the bin 🙈😂.. Mom said no she’ll take them to the pawn shop. Either way I had no feelings about it.. 

Apart from our child ( #obvious) there’s no attachment to him.. I feel absolutely nothing towards him and wish him all the best. 

Some will say I’ve lost the plot others will say I’m ready to move on…

Awake (pointless post lol)

Why I’m awake… god only knows! Am I tired? I think so… 

What have I done today? Absolutely nothing!!

Gotta be up in the next few hours, to get some sleep…

I think it’s the ribena… it’s like an energy drink for me.